Let’s talk about boobs. Tits, wangies, knockers, bosoms, fried eggs, jugs, bee stings, bangers, melons, honkers, bahama mammas…. Whatever you want to call them, let’s talk about them – ones of the milky variety to be precise. In fact, let’s just get them out in public for the world to see and attract the attention of perverts whilst we feed our babies… Because obviously that’s EXACTLY what us mamas are doing when we’re feeding our hungry baby in public. Oh wait, is that not what breastfeeding is all about? My bad. Is it just me or does it seem that society’s views on public breastfeeding is a bit backwards nowadays.
This is probably a good time to mention that I’m not judgemental on feeding methods in the slightest. Every mum and every baby is different and in my opinion, a fed baby is a happy baby whether they’re suckling on a breast or a bottle. I intended on breastfeeding for 12 weeks and I only managed 6. Some mamas only ever breastfeed, some mamas only bottle feed, and some mamas are happy to mix it up between breast and bottle – ALL of which are totally fine as long as baby is healthy and developing.
However, far too often I read stories of mums being shamed for breastfeeding in public, and it seriously infuriates me. The people clearly have no idea how demanding, tiring and time consuming nursing a child is. Hungry, boob. Tired, boob. Comfort, boob – it never ends! And not to mention the cracked nipples that feel like they’re being sliced off with glass each time your baby latches on.
Breastfeeding mamas deserve so much more recognition than they get, but unfortunately more often than not we are publicly humiliated and embarrassed for doing something so natural, and here are just a few of the embarrassing reactions that some mums have to face!
No. 1 The ‘public indecency’ reaction
One story I read was about a woman who was discreetly feeding her baby on a park bench, when she was approached by a woman who told her she should go elsewhere because she was distracting her husband.
First of all, if you view breastfeeding as arousing or sexual in any way then please go and get your head seen to. Secondly, there are clearly some relationship issues that need to be addressed if your husband is looking at other women’s boobs (instead of yours) for his own satisfaction. And last of all, where the F*CK is she meant to go? This mama has chosen to breastfeed (you go girl!), so what is she supposed to do if she’s out and about with her little one and he gets hungry? Just go home? Never leave the house? No.
Anyway, the mother’s reaction was f*cking brilliant… She squired the b*tch with her boobs. The story is likely to boil your blood, but it is hilarious at the same time. Click here to read the story!
Guys, girls… We’re not trying to turn you on! We’re not exposing our breasts for your satisfaction, we’re feeding our babies… Which by the way is completely f*cking natural unlike your attraction to to lactating breasts.
No 2. The ‘we don’t allow breastfeeding here’ reaction
Ermmmm. Excuse me, dick head? Did you know it’s illegal to ask someone to leave your shop, restaurant, park or nearly every other public place for breastfeeding? No? You might want to check out the Equality Act 2010, making it illegal to discriminate against breastfeeding in a public place.
Mamas, know your sh*it and click here for everything you need to know about your breastfeeding rights!
No 3. The ‘could you do that in another room’ reaction
Another mama once told me that she was asked to feed her newborn in the toilets. She was assured there was a nice comfy chair in the ladies toilets for breastfeeding mums so that other people didn’t have to watch.
Firstly, just don’t watch? And secondly, would you go eat your lunch in the bathroom after someone just shit their entire breakfast out and left a delightful essence of poo in the air? No you would not, so please don’t expect a baby to – who by the way doesn’t have a great immune system yet and would be susceptible to any germs that mum may pick up from uncleaned surfaces.
No 4. The ‘can you cover up?’ reaction
Some mamas like to use a shawl or a nursing blanket to breastfeed their baby, others are as free as a bird in the wind and aren’t embarrassed whatsoever – and why should they be?
You open up The Sun and there they are – a perfectly symmetrical pair of (at least) double Ds on page 3. So let me get this straight, women can plaster their boobs all over the Sunday paper but as soon as we get them out to feed a baby – which is what they’re designed to do – all hell breaks loose?
Normalise Public Breastfeeding!
Ladies and gentlemen when are we all going to realise that breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world?! Formula milk has only been around for the past 150 years, so what on earth do you think women did before that?
“There you go son, I know you’re only three days old but get this ham sandwich down your neck”… No. They got their amazing, magical, incredible boobs out and fed their baby, because it was completely natural and normal. So why isn’t it viewed the same way now?
Mamas, be proud of your milk machines and don’t be afraid or embarrassed to get them out in public. When nature calls just answer, no matter where you are or who is around. Your boobies are the tree of life!